Ruthless Has Feelings

I used to like David.

I really, really did.

But my all-too-naïve perception of him faded once I got the entire story.

How can a boy with humble beginnings and such a ‘kind’ heart and belief in the Lord, end up becoming a ruthless man that kills someone just because he is not invited to a sheep shearing?

And then manages to steal said guy’s wife?

Right.

I don’t give Abigail any credit on her prize, either.

What started as a story of courage and bravery has now turned into the epic of a man’s downfall from purity, if it may be called that.

Now, he is making it his personal duty to constantly raid communities slaying all, so that word of his behavior does not get back to Achish.

Another thing that tugged my heartstrings was Saul’s death, as well as the death of his three sons, including Jonathan. Sadness came for Jonathan, whom I have learned to care for since he makes himself out to be such a kind, loyal man.

David felt the same way, and makes it so, in Second Samuels chapter 1, “I grieve for you, my brother Jonathan, You were most dear to me. Your love was wonderful to me. More that the love of women.”

I have yet to truly understand whether I am fond of David.

But maybe he does have feelings after all.

Whirl Wind

I guess most people see the story of David as a whirlwind of a ton of different emotions, lessons, shows of character. I mean, you take tiny little guy whose only way of living is helping his lonely dad with the cattle, and then you have a seven-foot giant whose mere height over-rules the fact that he is worshipped for his complete and utter essence of destruction.

Now, take a scale, a mere vote, and who wins?

Obviously it’s going to be the skimpy kid with a severe fetish for slings and stones that is going to knock the mighty giant unconscious.

Well.

That’s how it goes.

So here, we have just witnessed the pure existence of courage, in the form David.

And surprise.

I wonder if this is supposed to be an indirect way of saying that in life we should learn to overcome our fears, and surpass whatever means in search for reaching our goals. Basically, just taking risks in the unthinkable and maybe you’ll be lucking out? And maybe it has nothing to do with luck, but more with God?

Any who, this certain success leads to Saul upgrading David in his services, happy that he had finally found someone worth doing the job.

All the while, David is soon becoming friends with Saul’s son, Jonathan, who makes a covenant with him, for some reason or other. I have yet to understand the pure reason and need for all these random covenants, but it is God, so what can I say?

Okay, that was random, sue me.

Back to the point, David was sort of a legend. Working for Saul’s army, they used to come back from an assignment or battle with the men saying, “Saul has slain his thousands, and David his Ten thousands (1 Samuels 18:7).

Uh-oh.

Did they have to compare the two of them? Did they really have to say their names in the same sentence while visibly anointing one’s superiority and awesomeness (big word, huh?) over the other, namely, Saul?

People are stupid.

And because people embrace their stupidity and display it like a second skin, Saul began to feel a little green monster crawl up the side of his already mesed-up existence.

No one likes Mr. Jealousy (Cue singy-songy voice).

Apparently, Saul is not too big on following the trend and views himself as a nonconformist.

Because boy, did jealousy crawl its way up his ass.

I’m talking, want you dead, tie-you-up-with-hemp-rope-set-you-on-fire-and-get-high-off-the-fumes-of-your-burning-flesh type of jealousy.

The guy has problems.

But David had something Saul lacked.

God.

And plainly said, Saul never succeeded in killing him, the reason behind it completely fathomable.

And maybe the help from his best friend Jonathan when he warned him that his dad (Saul) was going to go all whacko on his ass.

But then again, that was probably God, too.

And then there’s the fact of the chopped bodies David found, the remains of Saul and Jonathan, at the end. Why did they have to be cut into pieces, seriously?

This is a story with a number of emotions in a jumble of sorts. There’s courage, jealousy, loyalty (to God, and in Jonathan to David), betrayal (Jonathan helping his father’s enemy), forgiveness, in the form of David finding Saul in a completely shameful state, and not killing him.
.

It’s kind of cool in the way it seems to mix up all these different actions and acts of kindness, or unkindness, for that matter, in one simple story.

A story that might not be so simple after all.

Paramount Being

All I have to say is chapters 38 through 41 consisted of basically God speaking and jumbling on about how amazing he is over anything else and how no one else can come to go up against him.

And Job says so in Job 42: 3 :

“You asked, ‘who I’d this that obscures my counsel
Without knowledge?’
Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too
wonderful for me to know.”

Well, in a way I can’t criticize or question God’s motives.

Yes, in the previous entry I did voice some inconsistencies on how the Lord tests people, but I can’t go any further than that.

Maybe it’s the matter of me being Christian and having grown up knowing and confiding in His word and trusting it whole-heartedly.

Maybe it’s just having been raised to believe in His power, His Holiness, and His being Almighty altogether to even begin to voice a little critique that comes to my mind.

Because, objectively, have it be someone that I don’t know or have no previous relation with, I could analyze his every move and judge the reasons to why he does such sometimes questionable things.

But I can’t.

Because, no matter the circumstances, I believe that He is Holy, and All-powerful, and right in whatever he chooses to do.

So yes. He did test someone by dumping him into a deepness of never surfacing plight, and when finally cursed, gives him repentance and gifts in return.

Maybe we all have a number of guesses as to why God does such things and begin to worry about his handling of matters.

But he’s God.

And as sappy and religious-like as this may sound, I intend to put every belief and faith into Him, never questioning Him or what he does, because in the end, He is the one who one-handedly amounts to being the unsurpassed, paramount being ever.

Show Me How to Suffer

Job is suffering.

And for what?

A test? A random act of cruel punishment? A diversion to see the faltering end? A game in which the Devil plays with the pawn that is Job?

Throughout Job, up until what I have read recently which makes its way up to chapter 37, I have yet to see anything different come up except Job suffering up to part of the Devil’s schemes.

Yes, God let the Devil issue unfortunate doings to Job’s life, just so he could prove that Job was holy, feared Him, and would never curse Him.

You’d think after everything else He has let the Devil put him through, and yet failed to see a hateful word towards God come out of Job’s mouth, God would cease the Devil from practically torturing Job until he sees death as the ultimate haven.

But that has not happened.

Job is still suffering, pining for a reason why God would amount him such evil doings, and the pain does not end.

I wonder.

Why does God test people if he knows what’s going to happen?

He has this psychic ability (of all the abilities the Almighty God acquires) and why seek to send people through ruin, knowing they will surpass it and end up honoring you either way?

Isn’t knowing that enough to have you refrain from drenching them in earth-shattering pain and agony?

Job never cursed him:

“As surely as God lives, who has denied me justice,
The almighty, who has made me taste bitterness in my soul,
As long as I have life within me, the breath of God
in my nostrils,
my lips will not speak wickedness, and my tongue
will utter no deceit.”

Never, does he curse him. And yet he swallows in anguish.

Frogs Stampeding and Babies Killed

I always knew about Moses and the sea. Having it be stated and known throughout the world, no matter whether you believe in it or not, I knew about it. What I did not know, in terms of explaining my lower-than-low ignorance, was the actual detailed story behind it.

Sure, I knew he was escaping from the Egyptians, but I had yet to figure out the reason was because they were being held as sort-of slaves, and no matter what Moses did -----having his staff become a snake, turning river-water into blood, unleashing a stampede of frogs to clog all living head-quarters, have darkness impede the all-guiding light, and killing all the Egyptian first-born babies. You know, the usual---- the stubborn Pharaoh never let them “go sacrifice for the Lord for three days,” no matter how many times he said he would; he would always go back on his word.

I also never quite had the story defined for the existence of the curren jewish holiday ‘Passover’ (which I know has to do with eating food, or not eating food. Beat me). That is, until know. I am guessing now it still has to do with Unleavened bread, considering it was when the Lord was to kill every firstborn Egyptian baby, and painting their wooden doors with sheep’s blood (gross) in order for the Lord to know to “Pass over” their houses. I felt so excited knowing I had learned something new today.

But there are some things that took me awhile to figure out. AS in why in the world the Lord kept making the Pharaoh’s heart cold in order for him to refuse the Israelites from going to the dessert to sacrifice for Him. It’s like, “why do you want problems, God?! Can’t you make the guy have a warm heart and let them go so this can end peacefully?” Apparently, he is not too big on ‘peacefully.’

But then, I found out the answer to my question. In Exodus 14:4, the Lord says, “And I will harden the pharaoh’s heart, and he will pursue them. But I will gain glory for myself through Pharaoh and all his army, and the Egyptians will know that I am the Lord.”

It turns out, the reason he did all these things was to have a reason to build up some proof so that the Israelites could truly, with all their heart, have no doubt that he was the Lord, the Almighty, powerful one, as it says so in 14:31:

“And when the Israelites saw the great power the Lord displayed against the Egyptians, the people feared the Lord and put their trust in him and in Moses his servant.”

I noticed that in this quote, and probably before as well, the ‘he’ is not capitalized when they are referring to the Lord. Is it because it’s the more human form instead of the God form?

Then comes the battle between the Israelites and the Amalekites (cool name, by the way) in which whenever Moses has lifts his hands, the Israelites are winning, but when he gets tired and puts them back down, the Amalekites start to win.

That’s when Moses says:

“For hands were lifted up to the throne of the Lord. The Lord will be at war completely against the Amalekites from generation to generation.”

I wonder if that’s why when you worship at church, most people put their hands up. And no, this is not an ignorant question, considering I go to church myself and just see that done when you are truly into it and are up-taken to worship him with all your being. Lifting our hands just works like that, in church reference.

But I wonder if maybe when you do that, it is sort of an invitation and the pass to have the Lord with you at all times, battling out everything with you, helping you throughout the way.

In the sense that, by raising your hands, you’re accepting him, and in return, he is there to help you and guide you at all costs.

Deep, huh?

Finally, in chapter 22 it goes to list The Ten Commandments. For your information, it includes not stealing.

So, people who are participating in the occasional five-finger discount in your local mall in normal stores just because you’re too lazy to take out your plenty-filled wallet out in, you are deceiving God!

Just saying.

Suffering Misery and Bitter Souls

I never knew the bible could be so poetic. Seriously, the words, and how they are strewn together in Job are incredibly astounding.

Okay, so first and foremost, the whole reason for this chapter is for God to prove the righteousness of Job, and therefore the Devil (being his evil little self) decides to in a way, ruin Job’s life to prove to God that Job would curse Him given the circumstances.

Up until chapter 10, after having his cattle disappear, as well as his children, and getting an awful skin disease, Job still has yet to ‘curse’ God. Sure, he gets overly pissed and rants about how he does not deserve this, but not once does he get truly mad at the Lord.

Job 3:20

“Why is light given to those in misery,
and life to the bitter soul,
to those who long for death that does not come
who search for it more than a hidden treasure,
who are filled with gladness and rejoice
when they reach the grave?”

Deep, or what? Right now, as you can see, he is in an obvious state depression and a mind-set that questions life in bitterness. This is sort of like the regular question of why some people are happy and other are not in life, as well as the question of our existence if we’re going to spend most of it hoping for the day it will end.

Another one I liked was Job 4:5, where Eliphaz says, “But now trouble comes to you, and you are discouraged; it strikes you, and you are dismayed.”

This is basically like the lesson in life of getting back up when you fall down. It is true that in life, whenever we fail at something, or don’t do things like we are ‘supposed’ to or how we want them to do and excel, we always feel down and burden ourselves enough so that we don’t try again. We get discouraged by any single mistake that ends up deciding our path, something that we should not let happen.

Finally, a quote by Job that just kept me gasping at the pure profoundnesss of it and relative comparison, was Job 10:8 :

“Your hands shaped me and made me,
Will you now turn and destroy me?
Remember that you molded me like clay.
Will you now turn me into dust again?

This demonstrates the description of being built, only to be torn down again, piece by piece, which is how Job feels right now.

“Did you not pour me out like milk and curdle
me like cheese,
Clothe me with skin and flesh and knit me together with bones and sinews?”

I just loved the description of this one, the flesh clothing the body and constructed with a puzzle of joined bones?

Genius.

I have come to find, that besides just being a religious text focused on telling the story and portraying beliefs, the Bible is also an amazing collection of awesome literary art.

I wish I talked like that.

Of Disgusting Means and Sacrifices

A note to men: If you are not circumcised, be prepared to be personally isolated from your people. I kid you not. That is, if you live thousands of years ago when Abraham still lives. In modern times, well, all I can say is this law doesn’t appeal to you. Or does it? Just to be safe, cut it off!

Sorry for the imagery. Ouch.

It turns out, Yes, God did make a covenant with Abram (Now called Abraham) that depended on his descendants’ circumcision.

Well.

Two men go to Abraham's house with the Lord, and tell Abraham that he will indeed have a son, no matter how old he is.

The same two then go to Lot in Sodom and when the go, the people from Sodom ask Lot if they can have sex with the two men----I keep wondering if he people who ask are, in fact, men, and if was normal for men to ‘do it’ back then. Hmm.---- and he says no. Right then I’m starting to think that maybe Lot is not so bad after all.

That is, until he opens his big mouth and says, “Look, I have two daughters that have never slept with a man. Let me bring them to you and you can do what you like with them. But don’t do anything to these men, for they have come under the protection of my roof.” So his daughters, having lived with him all his life, are not under the so-called ‘protection’ of his roof? What a little scheming, disgusting SOB.

But the horny, gay guys don’t want to listen to him, and reach out in an effort to, I don’t know, kill him? But the two men inside hold him back, and make the people blind so they can’t reach the door. They tell Lot to run away with his daughters and wife because the Lord is going to burn the city.

So Lot and his daughters escaped for Zoar. I don’t understand why the Lord saved him, considering he is such an annoying human being who would give away his daughters to whoever pleases. Geesh. Probably because of his relation to Abraham, which I never quite understood what it was.

Lot and his daughters are hiding in a cave, and the daughters, for reasons unknown to me, decide that since there are no men to lay with and keep the family line, they will get their dad drunk and each one lay with him one night so they can reproduce. A lovely goal with extremely far-fetched, disgusting means. Incest, much?

Now Abraham and Sarah have the son God promised them, so they get rid of Ishmael and Hagar, who leave and God gives them water to survive.

One day, God tells Abraham to sacrifice Isaac, in a sort of test to see if Abraham truly feared God the way he should. When Abraham went to do the deed with no hesitation, the Lord called him from heaven to stop, seeing that Abraham did fear him, and stopped him from killing Isaac.

Because he showed his loyalty to the lord, He decided to bless Abraham always and told him his descendents will take possession of cities.

Sarah died one day, leaving Abraham to pine in her absence, as well as Isaac. When Abraham was getting old, he told his servant he wanted a wife for his son, but that she had to be from his native land, and Isaac could not go there. He said it was very important for him to bring back a wife for Isaac or else he would be realeased from the oath he made with the Lord.

So the servant went, an found a helpful girl named Rebekah, whom he later took back to willingly marry Isaac.

Now, whoever said arranged marriages were total contradicters of free will didn’t know beautiful people like Rebekah or Isaac.


So maybe this would be a happy ending. But this is not the end, is it?