Of Disgusting Means and Sacrifices

A note to men: If you are not circumcised, be prepared to be personally isolated from your people. I kid you not. That is, if you live thousands of years ago when Abraham still lives. In modern times, well, all I can say is this law doesn’t appeal to you. Or does it? Just to be safe, cut it off!

Sorry for the imagery. Ouch.

It turns out, Yes, God did make a covenant with Abram (Now called Abraham) that depended on his descendants’ circumcision.

Well.

Two men go to Abraham's house with the Lord, and tell Abraham that he will indeed have a son, no matter how old he is.

The same two then go to Lot in Sodom and when the go, the people from Sodom ask Lot if they can have sex with the two men----I keep wondering if he people who ask are, in fact, men, and if was normal for men to ‘do it’ back then. Hmm.---- and he says no. Right then I’m starting to think that maybe Lot is not so bad after all.

That is, until he opens his big mouth and says, “Look, I have two daughters that have never slept with a man. Let me bring them to you and you can do what you like with them. But don’t do anything to these men, for they have come under the protection of my roof.” So his daughters, having lived with him all his life, are not under the so-called ‘protection’ of his roof? What a little scheming, disgusting SOB.

But the horny, gay guys don’t want to listen to him, and reach out in an effort to, I don’t know, kill him? But the two men inside hold him back, and make the people blind so they can’t reach the door. They tell Lot to run away with his daughters and wife because the Lord is going to burn the city.

So Lot and his daughters escaped for Zoar. I don’t understand why the Lord saved him, considering he is such an annoying human being who would give away his daughters to whoever pleases. Geesh. Probably because of his relation to Abraham, which I never quite understood what it was.

Lot and his daughters are hiding in a cave, and the daughters, for reasons unknown to me, decide that since there are no men to lay with and keep the family line, they will get their dad drunk and each one lay with him one night so they can reproduce. A lovely goal with extremely far-fetched, disgusting means. Incest, much?

Now Abraham and Sarah have the son God promised them, so they get rid of Ishmael and Hagar, who leave and God gives them water to survive.

One day, God tells Abraham to sacrifice Isaac, in a sort of test to see if Abraham truly feared God the way he should. When Abraham went to do the deed with no hesitation, the Lord called him from heaven to stop, seeing that Abraham did fear him, and stopped him from killing Isaac.

Because he showed his loyalty to the lord, He decided to bless Abraham always and told him his descendents will take possession of cities.

Sarah died one day, leaving Abraham to pine in her absence, as well as Isaac. When Abraham was getting old, he told his servant he wanted a wife for his son, but that she had to be from his native land, and Isaac could not go there. He said it was very important for him to bring back a wife for Isaac or else he would be realeased from the oath he made with the Lord.

So the servant went, an found a helpful girl named Rebekah, whom he later took back to willingly marry Isaac.

Now, whoever said arranged marriages were total contradicters of free will didn’t know beautiful people like Rebekah or Isaac.


So maybe this would be a happy ending. But this is not the end, is it?